I didn’t expect the storm to begin

As I looked around, one thing became known

Three of these Creatures then cried out in pain

I watched as the others prepared to attack

All of a sudden I heard a voice say

Then in an instant the storm wasn’t there

On June 5, 2008 I was diagnosed with Lymphoma, Stage 3. I was soon to discover my life was going to change in ways that I couldn't even imagine. Weeks before I got the diagnosis, I knew something serious was going on in my body, yet the doctor kept telling me  it was "just gas" until a lump starting growing on the side of my neck. The frustration of that "not knowing" begin to take its toil, that frustration brought me to my knees where I begin to pray. God in His wisdom and love, sent the most beautiful messenger, my Dad who said "Sug, it's going to be alright". At that moment I was filled with such a peace.

While I waited for the CAT scan results of my neck to come back, God was busy working opening up doors. On June 3, 2008 my dear friend Karen called, asking if we would join her and her daughter, Rebecca (who is a nurse) for dinner. Gary, my husband and I met Karen and Rebecca where the conversation turned to Rebecca asking if I wouldn't mind if she took some of the lab work, and ultra sound to a doctor she knew and discussed what was happening, upon which I agreed too. The next morning, as I was getting ready to leave for work, Rebecca called to inform me she had talked to Dr. Jose Barreau and he would like to see me that day in his office. She went on to let me know he was going to have his nurse, Diane call me. It wasn't until that time, I finally asked "What type of doctor is he", which the answer was an oncologist. I go well we don't know this is cancer yet, as the CAT scan hasn't come back and wouldn't be until Friday. It wasn't until I got that call from Dr. Barreau's office, that I found out that he already had my results. Sitting later that afternoon in Dr. Barreau's office with Gary, he informed me that it was cancer and he was setting it up for me to see a surgeon to have a biopsy. I then mentioned to Dr. Barreau about the pain I was having in my abdomen, after examining me he had found that there was something growing,  a CAT scan was set up to be taken  of my abdomen, pelvic and chest. When the test came back, the cancer was in the abdomen, pelvic, and neck. They had found tumors all through my abdomen and pelvic, the largest being 18 centimeters in size.

All I could think of at that point, was how was I going to tell my family, since my three children, my Mom, sister and brothers live out of state. On the drive home, I kept asking God to give me the wisdom and courage in how to tell them. I knew, my children would be alright as long as they knew I was handling it. I had grave concerns about my Mom, my Prayer Warrior, as she had lost her sister to cancer. Gary and I both agreed, that I should call my sister first, as I didn't want to give my Mom that kind of news on the phone and her being at home alone. I placed the call to Margaret, my sister, giving her the news, I won't ever forget the moment I told her, as she went quiet, but I could feel her starting to pray and trying to deal with this. At that moment, I literally felt God wrap His arms around us both. I honestly believe, God became both of our anchor at that moment, preparing us both for the days ahead.

God never left my side nor let go of my hand, even on the day's I felt I couldn't go through another chemo treatment or the side effects. There were days I felt defeated and tired,  it was in those moment's God in His love and grace would fill my heart with courage and strength. In the 8 months after being diagnosed, the love, prayers, and cards that poured in I felt very humbled by all of this and blessed. God helped me reach that point during this "storm" to not look at the end results, but to take each moment and live life to the fullest in His love.   He showed me the importance of what really matters and that we never walk alone in any "storm of life" we may have to go through. The miracle wasn't just about "healing", the miracle was the relationship with God that unfolded during this, and knowing out of bad life situations, that God has a greater purpose for our lives.

February 5, 2009, after all the test's were run again, there was no sign of active cancer cells in my body. I thank God daily for the healing and showing me what really matters.. I give Him praise and honor that through this "storm",  He lifted me up, filled me with peace and His love. I am thankful and blessed to know Him as my Savior!

God has sent some very special people into my life, whom I am truly blessed and honored to have love me. May each of you know, that I love you with every ounce of my being.

I want to thank Gary, my husband, truly a God send, whose unwavering love, patience, strength, courage, and crazy humor, helped me to get through each day. Your my hero, and the love of my life..
To my children Dustin, Thad, and Stephanie, it is one of the greatest honor's to be your mother, thank you for your love and support. Thank you for blessing me with your words and lives, you three are my "little Angels" of love.
Mom, my ever faithful Prayer Warrior, God truly sent me an Angel for a Mother! Thank you  for the many things you have taught me, and most of all thank you for "setting that example" of living your life of faith, even through your own  storms.
Margaret, Rick, Terry, and Dwayne, I consider it a privilege to be your sister. Thank you for the love and prayers and even "picking on me", don't ever change. Margaret, thank you for being there when words failed me and only tears could fall.

For all the family, friends, and co-workers, and complete strangers, that have been in prayer daily for me and calling with their support and love. May God bless each and every one of you, and may you know His Love!

Larry Clark,  thank you for sharing your poems with me. You had sent  "The Storm" right before I was diagnosed, and many times I would sit and read it and weep. Thank you for sharing your faith and the beautiful Spirit inspired writings that you do.

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