Lighthouse

Lord
I want to be a lighthouse set upon a troubled sea.
So the people that are searching can see You,
instead of me.

As the waves beat against them
they know not where to run.
Lord,
let me be the lighthouse that guides them
to your Son.

~Written by my father, Roy~

~I Dedicate This Page To My Father~

Four years ago, my father was diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease. I still remember the day, the call I received from my parents, I sat there totally numb, in disbelief as to what they were telling me. I sat there stunned, not able to even weep, finally my father told me, "Deb, you've got to keep it together," while inside I begin to crumble.

Here was my father, my hero, my friend I wanted to scream, the emotions begin to flood over me.  I could hear in my father's voice, his strength, his courage, which I had seen in him all my life. He continued to tell me how much he loved me, how proud he was of me, and the pride it gave him for me to call him my father and that forever I would be his little girl.

These last four years have had their moments of up's and down's. My father's disease has been aggressive, as well as developing other complication's. At times he doesn't remember who I am,  yet after speaking to me, he will say, "You must be a very special lady," not realizing I am his daughter, then he is gone...to another place, none of us know.

My father has always been a ray of sunlight in my life. I've never seen him fear anyone or anything.  I've never known him to be a stranger in a crowd. His humor, even through this disease, is one thing that you always see. This disease is an emotional one to go through, for one moment you might have your loved one there...as though as before this disease attacked them. Then, without any reason, they slip away again into a world, where no one knows where they go.

At a time, that was a dark stormy passage in my life, I remember my father when arriving at the hospital to visit me, his words echo through my heart till this day, as he bent over and hugged me, saying, "Deb, your my daughter, and if nothing else in this life I have shown you, I hope you realize the importance of your worth, your values and your strength. There is always hope, never loose sight of that."

I treasure all the fond memories of my father, so many of those times are filled with laughter. He could show you even if one was sad, how to find that laughter. He would always say, " That through the tears kiddo, you got to have some laughter." It's not easy seeing a family member, a loved one go through this disease, there is that part of you that wants this nightmare to end for them, yet, another part of you that doesn't want you to let go.

I dedicate this page to my father, and to those family's who have a loved one suffering with this disease. I share my father's poems, which he wrote several year's ago which reflects his life, his strength, his courage, his humor, yet most of all that hope.

So to you Daddy, where ever you should go, know you will never be alone, for your baby girl is holding you safe in her heart, loving you always. For your my father, my friend, my hero...neither time nor disease will ever take that from me. For you see Daddy, you have always been "That Lighthouse" in my life! I love you Daddy.

Loving you forever and a day,
Your baby girl
~Deb~

~Alzheimer's Disease~

In the United States today, there are more than two million victims of Alzheimer's disease, and the number is growing. The disease eventually renders the brain virtually useless, turning lives inside and out, both the lives of the people who have Alzheimer's and the lives closest to them. It is a slow, irreversible disease that ultimately leads to ones death.

MIDI:
Bruce DeBoerŠ
An original composition entitled By The Sea
Used with permission
GRAPHICS:
Moon and Back Graphics